Clare Maxfield

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Jul 19 2018

#100 days 100 outfits – days 40-60

100 days 100 outfits showing days 40-60

Days 40-60

Where has the time gone.

Today is truthfully day 80 so I am little behind my schedule in updating but that happens. here is what I have learned so far from this exercise.

  • It is possible
  • Highly recommend you shop for some new clothes before you make such a grand statement. I’m just a tad over last years clothes.
  • Highly recommend you do not put on any weight from the previous year. Sadly all of my leather skirts are a tad too tight this year.
  • Weekend photos are always better than weekdays as I’m able to get dressed in better light…and take my time.
  • The pieces that are still in my wardrobe, unworn, I clearly do not like as they haven’t even made the cut when I am desperate for something else.
  • Summer tops work really well with long sleeved t’s under them.
  • I can’t wait to get some new jeans.

It has been illuminating and I love how for the first time, so many of you are talking to me about what I do and giving me encouragement.

Thanks for all of your support and you really should try it. (maybe without the flat lays and photos every day) you will be amazed at what outfits are hiding in your closet.

As the last word, the other downside to this is that I cant just get dressed. There is nothing more annoying than realising that you have almost dressed and you haven’t photographed the outfit. First world problem of the social media kind

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Style, Wardrobe, Women · Tagged: 100days100outfits, Accomplishment, Clothing, communication, Fashion, Style, Wardrobe Capsule

Mar 26 2017

What do business/corporate dress codes mean?

Companies are forever moaning about the dress standards of their staff and what to do about them?

The simplest solution is to have a dress code that is relevant to your industry, your brand and your clientele.

The way you dress speaks volumes. make sure your clothes are sticking up for you.

Business Clothing Level One

business clothing level one
business clothing level one by claremaxfield featuring suede shoes

This article is rich in content for you to understand exactly what works well and doesn’t work well when you are dressing for the workplace. You may not plan to work in a corporate environment, which means a lot of the information regarding the most traditional of suiting is irrelevant to you. Keep this in mind, no matter what industry you are in, if you plan to be successful you are going to be expected to look successful. It might be that you do not wear suits because you have to but you might end up wearing suits because you want to. This chapter will start explaining for you how to look your best in the clothes you are wearing and to ensure that the accessories you use are right for that look.

When we talk about corporate dress, it is easiest to describe it in 4 levels. There are many different schools of thought and many different ways to describe these levels. I know of another consultant who describes them in level 1 as the most casual and level 4 as the highest – kind of like a building. Myself, I work the other way around as I think of dance gradings I have done in the past where you worked your way up to level one and being the best. You can really give these any name or number you like. The whole idea is to ensure that you know what you are doing, what impact you are giving and what people are seeing.

The benefit to a business having a dress code is to stop the confusion os what is and isn’t acceptable by your staff at work. It is important to remember that dress codes should be important for ALL staff. It may be that different departments have a different uniform and that may be a formal uniform or it might just be a standard of dress due to work requirements. Businesses which do not bother with a dress regulation or grooming guideline are asking for trouble. If you need to counsel a staff member about their grooming you have nowhere to begin as it isn’t laid out and expressed anywhere and it can be deemed that your comments are based on a  personal dissatisfaction and not a brand adherence.

The levels I use when I am training staff are the following

Level 1 is the most formal and professional – a suit is required (formally known as Traditional Business)

Level 2 it is a tad more relaxed – a jacket is necessary (formally known as Business Classic)

Level 3 is everyday office/retail wear. It is smart and professional. (formally known as Business Smart)

Level 4 is for casual Friday. It is relaxed it is the most dressed down you can be at work. (formally known as Business Casual – that’s an oxymoron to me but more about that later)

Today I am going to focus on Level one. Over the next few posts, I’ll go into detail on the remaining three dress codes.

Insights

Level insights

Level 1

Traditional or Classic Business Dress

Suit- Dark serious colours. Black, navy, charcoal, pin striped and chalk striped.

Belts– Belts or Braces are applicable with a suit. Belts should be made of black smooth leather.

Shirts– Long sleeved, solid or patterned in traditional colours of pastels or red or blue stripes on a white background colours. Regular collar not buttoned down.

Ties– Strong colours with a small print or pattern. Best to use Base Colours

 Jumpers– Not applicable

Pants– Same as Suit Coat in darker core colour. May be cuffed or uncuffed depending on your frame and size.

Shoes– Thin to medium a leather sole. Lace –up.

Socks– Dark, plain or discreet patterns. Long to the knee (no one wants to see the top of your socks)

Watches-gold or silver face and matching band; gold or silver face with fine dark leather band.

Accessories

Kerchiefs, gold or silver cufflinks, tie pins, pinkie ring

Making it work

Ensure your suit is crisp at all times. 

Never try to dress it down

Overall Impression

Authoritative, credible, respectful, solid, analytical, precise, dominant, logical and reliable

Look the part. Unless you are in the fashion industry – dressing too faddish will have your bosses wondering if you are more concerned with your wardrobe than your job

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Business, dress code, Etiquette, Style · Tagged: business attire, business clothing, Clothing, communication, corporate apparel, dresscode, Styled for Success

Mar 16 2017

An Introvert’s Guide to Asking Probing Questions

5 steps to probe with integrityThere are 5 simple steps to draw out more information from the person you are having a conversation with. It might be that you are the introvert and need a hand, or that the person you are speaking with is an introvert and if that is the case, it can be a challenge to have them open up.

The Simple, How When Where why and Who questions are starting to run dry and you want more details.

Follow this process for probing and you will discover all that you need.

Probing Questions

Probing Questions

Probing questions can also help you to investigate in more detail.

Many people are better at presenting their own point of view than they are at drawing out information from others. Your role as a good communicator is to draw out information from the individual that will help you understand the issue. A good name for this skill of gathering information from others is probing.

When you probe, you:

  • Get others involved and participating. Since probes are designed to produce a response, it’s unlikely the other person will remain passive.
  • Get important information on the table. People may not volunteer information, or the information they present may not be clear. Your probes help people open up and present or clarify their information.
  • Force yourself to listen. Since probes are most effective in a sequence, you have to listen to a person’s response.
  • Help improve communication on both sides of the table.

Probing Methods

There are five ways to probe, each are described below.

1. Ask an open question

One of the most common ways of probing is to ask an open question, such as:

  • “Can you describe that more clearly?”
  • “Would you give me a specific example of what you mean?”
  • “What do you think we should do?”

The difficulty here is that if you ask too many of these probing questions, the other person begins to feel like they are being interrogated. Be thoughtful about what and how you ask. Consider how many probes you really need to offer.

2. Pause

A second, very effective way of probing is a pause. Stop talking. Let the other person fill the silence.

3. Ask a reflective or mirroring question

A third way is to ask a reflective or mirroring question. For example, let’s say the person has just said, “What I really want is more variety in my work.” You may respond by just reflecting back to them, “Variety?” The reflective question usually provides you with an expanded answer without you needing to ask more questions. Of course, it is best used in conjunction with a pause.

Reflective questions or statements focus on clarifying and summarising without interrupting the flow of the conversation. They indicate your intent to understand the sender’s thoughts and feelings.

4. Paraphrase

A fourth method that is particularly useful to make certain you understand what has just been said is paraphrasing in your own words.  An example: “So if I understand you correctly, you…”

You can use this response to show that you want to increase the accuracy of your understanding of what has just been said. You may also want to use it to ensure the sender hears what he has just said. Finally, paraphrasing reassures the sender that you are trying to understand what they are saying.

5. Ask a summary question

The fifth method, most often used as a conversation is winding down, is the summary question. Example: “You have tried ignoring the scent of your colleague’s cologne, you have talked with him about how it affects your allergies, and you have tried shutting your door to keep the scent from your workspace. None of these has worked and now you are asking me to intervene. Have I got it right?”

Now you should find all communication clear, easy and fulfilling. Do let me know if this or any of my other communication posts have helped you at all.

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Business, Etiquette, Interviews · Tagged: communication, etiquette, introvert, probing, questions

Mar 14 2017

Asking Good Questions for Introverts

How where who what and whenDo you find that attending social events fills you with dread as you never know what to say to people. In an earlier post I shared with you simple tips to networking and making introductions that will make life much easier for you. This article is going to share with you how to ask great questions to have people opening up to you without you feeling like you are continually pulling teeth or information from anyone.

Asking Good Questions

Two of the most basic elements of good communication are asking questions and listening to others. Some of us naturally ask a lot of questions, while for others this is a learned skill. We can plan questions prior to meetings or conversations as a way to ensure our questions have thought and depth to them.

There are two kinds of questions: open and closed.

We spend a lot of our lives asking and answering questions, but we aren’t always aware of how we ask questions. Open questions in particular often give us difficulty, which is unfortunate since they are the most important ones for us to become skilled at using.

Closed Questions

Closed questions are those that can be answered by either “yes” or “no,” or with a specific bit of data, such as your name, date of birth, or occupation. These questions restrict our responses and give us little opportunity to develop our thoughts before answering. As a result, these questions require very little effort on either person’s part. They can be used (intentionally or unintentionally) as a way to close down a conversation.

Closed questions tend to get over-used, in part because they are so easy to work with. They are easy to phrase and we get quick answers. This type of questioning can cause us to make assumptions as we create fuller answers in our minds, and assumptions can be big barriers to good  communication.

Open Questions

Open questions, on the other hand, encourage people to talk. These questions are phrased so they cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. Open questions often begin with a variation of the five W’s (who, what, when, where, why), or you can ask how.

Open-ended questions can be used to:

  • Get information
  • Focus conversations
  • Solicit opinions
  • Gain consensus

The unintentional use of a closed question can often be overcome by simply following it with a short open question. For example:

  • “Do you feel that was the right thing to do?”
  • “Yes, I do.”
  • “Can you help me understand why you feel that way?”

Using Open Questions

Here is an example of a closed question:

  • Do you like ice cream?

Replacing it with an open question provides us with more information:

  • What’s your favourite flavour of ice cream?

The first question will only tell us whether the person likes ice cream or not. That’s a closed situation. The second question will let us know a little bit about the person. It could also lead to follow up questions depending on their answer. Questions that are open ended will help us learn more about the people we speak with, establish things that we have in common, develop rapport, and make meaningful connections.

Good open questions include:

  • “What is your opinion?”
  • “How do you think we should solve the problem?”
  • “What would you do in my shoes?”
  • “Tell me more about…”

Note: Be very careful about “why” questions. All too often these questions sound like accusations, and the listener immediately becomes defensive.

Open questions give us more information because:

  • They encourage other people to talk
  • We get opinions and ideas from others
  • They can help us determine if people have interpreted what we say correctly
  • They can help us arrive at consensus much more readily

It is easier to build relationships with potential customers if we become skilled at asking questions that give us more information about that person and their wants and needs. The questions help us find common ground with someone, show the person we are interested in them, and we put the emphasis on them rather than us.

Good person-focused questions can include:

  • What do you think we can do about this?
  • What would you like me to stop doing?
  • Would it be helpful if I…?
  • Supposing we were to…?
  • Help me understand where you’re coming from?
  • Let’s set a time when we can talk about the changes we’re prepared to make.
  • I’m prepared to… Would that ease the situation?

Delving Deeper

It is possible for you to ask someone an open question and for them to be evasive or try to shut the conversation down. Children are famous for this when a parent says, “What did you learn at school today?” and they reply, “Nothing.”

One of your team members may come see you after a meeting, and you say,” How’d the meeting go?” and they say, “Fine.” If you want to engage them, you’ll have to ask a follow up question. Some examples:

  • What was the most interesting point raised in the meeting (or at school)?
  • What were the challenges that we need to consider?
  • What questions did the group ask?

Types of Open-Ended Questions

There are several different types of open-ended questions.

We can ask leading questions to influence how people think (“Don’t you just love the way vanilla ice cream smells?”).

Rhetorical questions

Rhetorical questions are ones that we don’t really want an answer to, such as “Do I look like I care?” Rhetorical questions can be used to engage your conversation partner and make them think about the obvious answer. (They may also be something that you blurt out because you are thinking out loud!) A rhetorical question can engage the listener in a persuasive manner as they process your ideas.

Tomorrow I will continue this post with details on how to delve and probe deeper while remaining comfortable in the conversation.

If you would like to test your business etiquette knowledge complete this quiz to see how you would do in a social situation.

Clare Maxfield is available for coaching or staff training on all elements of your business Personal Branding. Contact her now to discover how she can help you.

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Business, Interviews · Tagged: Business, communication

Feb 16 2017

What your arms say about you

body language hands

Your arms say volumes about what is on your mind.

Speaking with your Hands

Do you talk with your hands? If you are nervous, do you talk with your hands more than usual? Talking with our hands can help to emphasise what we say, although being too expressive can actually distract the listener, who begins to look at your hands instead of listening to your message. In some regions, including Asia and Britain, hand gestures are not that common. In other places, such as Italy, Spain, Portugal, Russia, and countries where those people have immigrated, hand gestures are a part of the conversation.

If you tend to over-talk with your hands, you need to know that some listeners will see you as too demonstrative and perhaps even aggressive. If you are nervous, your hands may be busier than usual, so you’ll need to remember to rein yourself in.

Arm and hand gestures can be used to help you to emphasise an occasional point or to express yourself. For the listener, there are some gestures that make you seem more trustworthy than others. In his work as a communication expert, Chris Bowden refers to something called the “truth plane” as an ideal place to have your hands and to express yourself with honesty. The truth plane is the area around the middle of your abdomen, above your navel. If you keep your hands in front of that area, you appear more trustworthy. It allows you to keep your elbows close to the side of your body and to use your hands to gesture in front of you.

If you use your hands in a symmetric pattern, it is a more trustworthy signal than having your hands do different things. If your hands are too high and obscure your face or throat, that could signal that you are not being honest. If your hands move too far from your body, it could be a signal that you are getting desperate to make your case or close the sale.

If your hands are clasped in front in a downward manner, in front of your genitals, this can signal that you are feeling vulnerable or have something to hide (as if you are protecting yourself).

Keep your hands in front of your abdomen for the best results, using them to emphasise without saying too much. You can fold your hands together in that position or put fingertips from one hand against the other to express yourself. This is known as steepling and is highly trusted. Just be conscious if they start moving too much and distract from the conversation.

Tip

In our aim to be friendly, we can really mess things up. You have probably seen people use their fingers in a V to signal “peace.” Many people use this gesture very casually nowadays, almost as a replacement for hello or goodbye. However, you must be careful in how you present the gesture. Your first and second fingers should form a V, with the hand held up so that your palm faces the other person. If you turn your palm toward yourself (particularly if you are in the United Kingdom), you are making a very vulgar gesture, the equivalent to North America’s flashing of the middle finger.

When you consider that our arms and hands can speak for us in sign language. It is very important to be aware of the messages and signals that we are giving at all times.

Crossed arms can mean chilly weather or disinterested.

Clenched fists can be a sign of anger or fear.

Hugging yourself is something we do to calm ourselves in nervous situations. men are known to touch their cuffs and cufflinks when settling themselves down.

Touching another person can be a very tricky situations. Especially if you need to get someones attention and do not want to be accused of harassment. therefore the safest place to touch another person is between the elbow and the shoulder. It is a safe zone and if, you really want someone to do something for you, or you want to sway someone to your way of thinking. Then this is the ideal place to touch them.

Touching a persons hand or arm has been proven to improve tips for waiting staff as long as it is for no longer than 3 seconds. otherwise you appear plain creepy.

If you find you are insecure and find yourself at a loss as to what to do with your hands always keep a pen of a cup of coffee handy. Holding a pen, can make you appear more knowledgeable and more connected with the conversation you are having.

Finally, when in a negotiation, offer the other party a drink. You can tell how comfortable they are by where they place their cup. Cups placed down across their body is another subliminal sign of discomfort. Cups placed down in front of the body or out from the body shows comfort and trust.

When you consider how many sayings refer to our hands, arms and fingers you can tell we relate to and read into much of what they do.

I found this great compilation by Mark Nichol

Many idioms referring to human behavior are based on analogies to parts of the body, especially arms, hands, and fingers. Here are explanations of many of the most common expressions.

1. “All hands on deck,” from nautical terminology, means that a circumstance requires everyone’s attendance or attention.
2. One who is all thumbs is clumsy (as if one had thumbs in place of fingers and is therefore not dexterous).
3. To have something at hand is to have it accessible or nearby.
4. To be hand in hand is to be in close association.
5. A backhanded compliment is one that explicitly or implicitly denigrates the recipient.
6. To be in good (or safe) hands is to be in a secure position.
7. To be on hand is to be in attendance or available in case of need.
8. To bite the hand that feeds you is to attack or reject someone who has helped you.
9. “The devil makes work for idle hands” means that those who do not have enough to occupy them are susceptible to risking illicit behavior.
10. To say that someone did not or would not lift a finger is to criticize the person for failing to assist.
11. “Elbow grease” refers to influence that will enable something to occur that would otherwise be hindered or stalled.
12. Elbow room is space to be free to live the way one wants to or engage in activities as one wishes.
13. To finger someone is to identify someone, especially a perpetrator of a crime or someone who is to blame for doing something wrong.
14. To experience something at first hand (or firsthand) is to experience it directly rather than to merely become aware of it through an intermediary.
15. To force someone’s hand is to maneuver so that someone is compelled to act prematurely or reveal his or her intentions.
16. To give someone a free hand is to allow that person autonomy.
17. “Five-finger discount” is a euphemism for stealing, especially shoplifting.
18. To gain the upper hand is to become dominant or victorious.
19. To get one’s fingers burned is to experience a painful lesson, often about issues such as trust in interpersonal relationships.
20. To get one’s hands dirty it to directly engage in an activity that may not be appealing, rather than leave it to others, or to become involved in illicit activity.
21–22. To give one’s right arm (to right-handed people, the more useful one) or an arm and a leg is to offer a significant sacrifice to obtain a desired result.
23. To go hand in glove means to be in close agreement or in a close relationship.
24. To hand it to someone is to acknowledge someone’s accomplishment.
25. To hand something to someone on a plate or a platter means to make something easy for someone.
26. To hang on by one’s fingernails is to barely manage to cope with something.
27. To have a finger in every pie (or many pies) is to be involved in many activities or projects
28. To have one’s finger on the pulse of something is to be acutely aware of its condition or status.
29. To have one’s hands full it to be busy or too busy to take on other activities.
30. Something done with a heavy hand is done excessively and/or oppressively.
31. A reference to an iron fist (or iron hand) in a velvet glove is to authoritarian behavior concealed behind a facade of benevolence.
32. To keep someone at arm’s length is to maintain emotional and/or physical distance from someone who is a bad influence or may otherwise cause harm.
33. To keep one’s fingers crossed is to wish for good luck.
34. To know something like the back of one’s hand is to be intimately or thoroughly familiar with it.
35. When the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing, one entity associated with another is unaware of the second entity’s actions or intentions.
36. To lend a hand means to help.
37. To live from hand to mouth is to live on a subsistence level, with no cushion of comfort.
38. When something gets out of hand, it is out of control.
39. The long arm of the law is the influence of law enforcement, which can be more far reaching in time or space than one expects.
40. “On the other hand” means “alternatively.”
41. To overplay one’s hand is to be overconfident.
42. To play into someone’s hands is to engage in activity or behavior that makes one vulnerable to another person’s manipulation.
43. A show of hands is a literal or figurative assessment or vote to determine support for or opposition to an intended course of action or agreement or disagreement with an opinion.
44. To stick out like a sore thumb is to be conspicuous.
45. To take the law into one’s own hands is to seek justice or retribution instead of obtaining assistance through law enforcement or legal procedures.
46. “Thumbs up” refers to the gesture of approval.
47. To be under someone’s thumb is to be subject to someone else’s influence.
48. To be up in arms is to be indignant or agitated about a wrong done to oneself and/or others.
49. To wash one’s hands of something is to decide that one no longer wants to be considered responsible for an action or policy that one does not have control over.
50. To work one’s fingers to the bone is suggest that one’s fingers have been stripped of flesh from the exertion.

Here is a link to the original article

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Business, Etiquette · Tagged: arms, Body Language, communication, fingers, hands

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