Clare Maxfield

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Sep 30 2018

Frocktober with Clare

ONE WOMAN DIES EVERY 8 HOURS FROM OVARIAN CANCER. IT COULD BE YOUR MOTHER, WIFE, SISTER, FRIEND OR EVEN YOUR DAUGHTER. RESEARCH IS THE ANSWER.

Support me Here

You might remember earlier this year, to highlight the way we ignore so much of our wardrobe I went on a 100-day challenge to wear a different outfit without going out and buying anything new. now I am about to start a new challenge, 31 days I will be wearing frocks to hopefully make a small difference.

I know there will be those of you out there who may find this trivial, who want to see the big pharmaceuticals do, I don’t know what. All I know is this IS something that I can do. Hopefully, I can make a difference. Once I had heard about it, I wanted to get involved with Frocktober.

It is time to use my activities to highlight, support and hopefully make a small difference towards the research to combat ovarian cancer. A dear friend of mine passed away on Friday from Metatastic Brain cancer. Cancer seems to surround all of us in a frighteningly growing number of ways. Another friend is fighting bowel cancer. This article isn’t meant to be full of doom, so, if we can change the statistics and help to find a cure for one cancer, we might find that that opens the door to cure many, many more.

I would truly appreciate your support, by donating $1, $5 or you make your choice. Just something to make a difference.

I will be posting my outfits every day for the 31 days of October and your support on my social media would be appreciated.

You can find my outfits on Instagram  or my facebook page

Please, don’t forget to support me this month. I would truly appreciate it as will someone whose life we may save down the road.

Support me Here

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Interviews, Video · Tagged: frocktober, ocrf, ovarian cancer research foundation

Sep 01 2017

Radio interview with Alan Hickey 5AA

Interview with Alan Hickey

Today Alan Hickey from Radio 5AA in Adelaide interviewed me on the history of some common saying we use.

I explain why we say, “A pinch and a punch for the first of the Month”, why we talk about it “Raining Cats and Dogs”, the meaning behind “being saved by the bell”, what is a “dead ringer” and how those two are related as well as why we might want to “butter someone up”.

https://secureservercdn.net/198.71.233.202/e0e.96d.myftpupload.com//wp-content/uploads/CLARE-MAXFIELD-ALAN-HICKEY-FIVEaa-1-SEPTEMBER-2017.mp3

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Interviews · Tagged: alan hickey, Interview, radio, sayings

Mar 23 2017

What the colour of your tie says about you

The meaning behind your tie

 

The meaning behind your tie by claremaxfield featuring mens neck ties
There is no denying that colour speaks volumes that language alone cannot.
Did you know that the colour tie that you chose to wear is communicating exactly what your intentions are whether you do it consciously or subconsciously. In fact, the meaning of all of these ties can extend into all garments.
The basic rules when it comes to colour are
  1. The lighter a colour is the friendlier it is
  2. The darker a colour is the more serious or formal it is.
  3. Neutral colours are the easiest to wear and co-ordinate with all other colours- Black, grey, navy, charcoal, chocolate and denim.
  4. Primary colours are the most acceptable and easy to wear-Red, Yellow and Blue
  5. Secondary colours are playful, creative and often mistrusted – Purple, Orange and Green
  6. Bright colours are playful and soft colours are relaxing
  7. Never wear more than two colours with a neutral to look and feel balanced.

Colour Meanings

Black – formal and intense. Black suits are good but dark navy and charcoal are better.

White – Professional and formal. With white shirts buy the best you can afford in a thick rich fabric. A flimsy white shirt will always look cheap.

Red – Powerful – Wear a red tie to be taken notice of.

Light blue – Friendly and approachable. blue collar shirts stand for someone who is a team player.

Dark blue – A good navy suit will make you look professional, trustworthy and respectable.

Yellow – is a fun ad playful colour. It is also a colour which connects men and sales.

Orange – Another fun colour – nothing serious here folks.

Pink – When you want to communicate with women, pink will have them listening. It is soft communication colour.

Purple – So you might chose lilac or lavender in a  shirt or purple stripes in a tie. It says you are modern, fashionable and progressive.

Green -Deep greens are old worldly, bright greens are fun and creative. Deep greens are OK for knits and polos, not ties.

Brown – What are you thinking of old man. Get some colour. Brown will work in a leather jacket or rugged jumper…not in the office.

Grey – Can be exciting as you rise above the mainstream or really dull as you hide away. Greys must be in great fabrics for suits, the darker the more serious. Light grey will work in summer, and when worn in a tie, it had better be really good quality to make you shine.

Don’t let colour scare you. Consider the event, the people you are meeting and the impact that you want to have. It can be the difference of supporting everything you have to say and winning that contract or competing with your words and losing credibility.

Should you want to know more about what colours suit you call Clare to organise your own colour analysis session. these can be done in person or via skype. Discover for yourself the colours that will ensure you win that contract, that promotion or that girl.

If you would like to know more about your clothing style and personality do the quiz here.

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Colour, Interviews, Men, Style · Tagged: colour, colour meaning, men, Personality, Style, ties

Mar 16 2017

An Introvert’s Guide to Asking Probing Questions

5 steps to probe with integrityThere are 5 simple steps to draw out more information from the person you are having a conversation with. It might be that you are the introvert and need a hand, or that the person you are speaking with is an introvert and if that is the case, it can be a challenge to have them open up.

The Simple, How When Where why and Who questions are starting to run dry and you want more details.

Follow this process for probing and you will discover all that you need.

Probing Questions

Probing Questions

Probing questions can also help you to investigate in more detail.

Many people are better at presenting their own point of view than they are at drawing out information from others. Your role as a good communicator is to draw out information from the individual that will help you understand the issue. A good name for this skill of gathering information from others is probing.

When you probe, you:

  • Get others involved and participating. Since probes are designed to produce a response, it’s unlikely the other person will remain passive.
  • Get important information on the table. People may not volunteer information, or the information they present may not be clear. Your probes help people open up and present or clarify their information.
  • Force yourself to listen. Since probes are most effective in a sequence, you have to listen to a person’s response.
  • Help improve communication on both sides of the table.

Probing Methods

There are five ways to probe, each are described below.

1. Ask an open question

One of the most common ways of probing is to ask an open question, such as:

  • “Can you describe that more clearly?”
  • “Would you give me a specific example of what you mean?”
  • “What do you think we should do?”

The difficulty here is that if you ask too many of these probing questions, the other person begins to feel like they are being interrogated. Be thoughtful about what and how you ask. Consider how many probes you really need to offer.

2. Pause

A second, very effective way of probing is a pause. Stop talking. Let the other person fill the silence.

3. Ask a reflective or mirroring question

A third way is to ask a reflective or mirroring question. For example, let’s say the person has just said, “What I really want is more variety in my work.” You may respond by just reflecting back to them, “Variety?” The reflective question usually provides you with an expanded answer without you needing to ask more questions. Of course, it is best used in conjunction with a pause.

Reflective questions or statements focus on clarifying and summarising without interrupting the flow of the conversation. They indicate your intent to understand the sender’s thoughts and feelings.

4. Paraphrase

A fourth method that is particularly useful to make certain you understand what has just been said is paraphrasing in your own words.  An example: “So if I understand you correctly, you…”

You can use this response to show that you want to increase the accuracy of your understanding of what has just been said. You may also want to use it to ensure the sender hears what he has just said. Finally, paraphrasing reassures the sender that you are trying to understand what they are saying.

5. Ask a summary question

The fifth method, most often used as a conversation is winding down, is the summary question. Example: “You have tried ignoring the scent of your colleague’s cologne, you have talked with him about how it affects your allergies, and you have tried shutting your door to keep the scent from your workspace. None of these has worked and now you are asking me to intervene. Have I got it right?”

Now you should find all communication clear, easy and fulfilling. Do let me know if this or any of my other communication posts have helped you at all.

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Business, Etiquette, Interviews · Tagged: communication, etiquette, introvert, probing, questions

Mar 14 2017

Asking Good Questions for Introverts

How where who what and whenDo you find that attending social events fills you with dread as you never know what to say to people. In an earlier post I shared with you simple tips to networking and making introductions that will make life much easier for you. This article is going to share with you how to ask great questions to have people opening up to you without you feeling like you are continually pulling teeth or information from anyone.

Asking Good Questions

Two of the most basic elements of good communication are asking questions and listening to others. Some of us naturally ask a lot of questions, while for others this is a learned skill. We can plan questions prior to meetings or conversations as a way to ensure our questions have thought and depth to them.

There are two kinds of questions: open and closed.

We spend a lot of our lives asking and answering questions, but we aren’t always aware of how we ask questions. Open questions in particular often give us difficulty, which is unfortunate since they are the most important ones for us to become skilled at using.

Closed Questions

Closed questions are those that can be answered by either “yes” or “no,” or with a specific bit of data, such as your name, date of birth, or occupation. These questions restrict our responses and give us little opportunity to develop our thoughts before answering. As a result, these questions require very little effort on either person’s part. They can be used (intentionally or unintentionally) as a way to close down a conversation.

Closed questions tend to get over-used, in part because they are so easy to work with. They are easy to phrase and we get quick answers. This type of questioning can cause us to make assumptions as we create fuller answers in our minds, and assumptions can be big barriers to good  communication.

Open Questions

Open questions, on the other hand, encourage people to talk. These questions are phrased so they cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. Open questions often begin with a variation of the five W’s (who, what, when, where, why), or you can ask how.

Open-ended questions can be used to:

  • Get information
  • Focus conversations
  • Solicit opinions
  • Gain consensus

The unintentional use of a closed question can often be overcome by simply following it with a short open question. For example:

  • “Do you feel that was the right thing to do?”
  • “Yes, I do.”
  • “Can you help me understand why you feel that way?”

Using Open Questions

Here is an example of a closed question:

  • Do you like ice cream?

Replacing it with an open question provides us with more information:

  • What’s your favourite flavour of ice cream?

The first question will only tell us whether the person likes ice cream or not. That’s a closed situation. The second question will let us know a little bit about the person. It could also lead to follow up questions depending on their answer. Questions that are open ended will help us learn more about the people we speak with, establish things that we have in common, develop rapport, and make meaningful connections.

Good open questions include:

  • “What is your opinion?”
  • “How do you think we should solve the problem?”
  • “What would you do in my shoes?”
  • “Tell me more about…”

Note: Be very careful about “why” questions. All too often these questions sound like accusations, and the listener immediately becomes defensive.

Open questions give us more information because:

  • They encourage other people to talk
  • We get opinions and ideas from others
  • They can help us determine if people have interpreted what we say correctly
  • They can help us arrive at consensus much more readily

It is easier to build relationships with potential customers if we become skilled at asking questions that give us more information about that person and their wants and needs. The questions help us find common ground with someone, show the person we are interested in them, and we put the emphasis on them rather than us.

Good person-focused questions can include:

  • What do you think we can do about this?
  • What would you like me to stop doing?
  • Would it be helpful if I…?
  • Supposing we were to…?
  • Help me understand where you’re coming from?
  • Let’s set a time when we can talk about the changes we’re prepared to make.
  • I’m prepared to… Would that ease the situation?

Delving Deeper

It is possible for you to ask someone an open question and for them to be evasive or try to shut the conversation down. Children are famous for this when a parent says, “What did you learn at school today?” and they reply, “Nothing.”

One of your team members may come see you after a meeting, and you say,” How’d the meeting go?” and they say, “Fine.” If you want to engage them, you’ll have to ask a follow up question. Some examples:

  • What was the most interesting point raised in the meeting (or at school)?
  • What were the challenges that we need to consider?
  • What questions did the group ask?

Types of Open-Ended Questions

There are several different types of open-ended questions.

We can ask leading questions to influence how people think (“Don’t you just love the way vanilla ice cream smells?”).

Rhetorical questions

Rhetorical questions are ones that we don’t really want an answer to, such as “Do I look like I care?” Rhetorical questions can be used to engage your conversation partner and make them think about the obvious answer. (They may also be something that you blurt out because you are thinking out loud!) A rhetorical question can engage the listener in a persuasive manner as they process your ideas.

Tomorrow I will continue this post with details on how to delve and probe deeper while remaining comfortable in the conversation.

If you would like to test your business etiquette knowledge complete this quiz to see how you would do in a social situation.

Clare Maxfield is available for coaching or staff training on all elements of your business Personal Branding. Contact her now to discover how she can help you.

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Business, Interviews · Tagged: Business, communication

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