Clare Maxfield

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Mar 26 2017

What do business/corporate dress codes mean?

Companies are forever moaning about the dress standards of their staff and what to do about them?

The simplest solution is to have a dress code that is relevant to your industry, your brand and your clientele.

The way you dress speaks volumes. make sure your clothes are sticking up for you.

Business Clothing Level One

business clothing level one
business clothing level one by claremaxfield featuring suede shoes

This article is rich in content for you to understand exactly what works well and doesn’t work well when you are dressing for the workplace. You may not plan to work in a corporate environment, which means a lot of the information regarding the most traditional of suiting is irrelevant to you. Keep this in mind, no matter what industry you are in, if you plan to be successful you are going to be expected to look successful. It might be that you do not wear suits because you have to but you might end up wearing suits because you want to. This chapter will start explaining for you how to look your best in the clothes you are wearing and to ensure that the accessories you use are right for that look.

When we talk about corporate dress, it is easiest to describe it in 4 levels. There are many different schools of thought and many different ways to describe these levels. I know of another consultant who describes them in level 1 as the most casual and level 4 as the highest – kind of like a building. Myself, I work the other way around as I think of dance gradings I have done in the past where you worked your way up to level one and being the best. You can really give these any name or number you like. The whole idea is to ensure that you know what you are doing, what impact you are giving and what people are seeing.

The benefit to a business having a dress code is to stop the confusion os what is and isn’t acceptable by your staff at work. It is important to remember that dress codes should be important for ALL staff. It may be that different departments have a different uniform and that may be a formal uniform or it might just be a standard of dress due to work requirements. Businesses which do not bother with a dress regulation or grooming guideline are asking for trouble. If you need to counsel a staff member about their grooming you have nowhere to begin as it isn’t laid out and expressed anywhere and it can be deemed that your comments are based on a  personal dissatisfaction and not a brand adherence.

The levels I use when I am training staff are the following

Level 1 is the most formal and professional – a suit is required (formally known as Traditional Business)

Level 2 it is a tad more relaxed – a jacket is necessary (formally known as Business Classic)

Level 3 is everyday office/retail wear. It is smart and professional. (formally known as Business Smart)

Level 4 is for casual Friday. It is relaxed it is the most dressed down you can be at work. (formally known as Business Casual – that’s an oxymoron to me but more about that later)

Today I am going to focus on Level one. Over the next few posts, I’ll go into detail on the remaining three dress codes.

Insights

Level insights

Level 1

Traditional or Classic Business Dress

Suit- Dark serious colours. Black, navy, charcoal, pin striped and chalk striped.

Belts– Belts or Braces are applicable with a suit. Belts should be made of black smooth leather.

Shirts– Long sleeved, solid or patterned in traditional colours of pastels or red or blue stripes on a white background colours. Regular collar not buttoned down.

Ties– Strong colours with a small print or pattern. Best to use Base Colours

 Jumpers– Not applicable

Pants– Same as Suit Coat in darker core colour. May be cuffed or uncuffed depending on your frame and size.

Shoes– Thin to medium a leather sole. Lace –up.

Socks– Dark, plain or discreet patterns. Long to the knee (no one wants to see the top of your socks)

Watches-gold or silver face and matching band; gold or silver face with fine dark leather band.

Accessories

Kerchiefs, gold or silver cufflinks, tie pins, pinkie ring

Making it work

Ensure your suit is crisp at all times. 

Never try to dress it down

Overall Impression

Authoritative, credible, respectful, solid, analytical, precise, dominant, logical and reliable

Look the part. Unless you are in the fashion industry – dressing too faddish will have your bosses wondering if you are more concerned with your wardrobe than your job

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Business, dress code, Etiquette, Style · Tagged: business attire, business clothing, Clothing, communication, corporate apparel, dresscode, Styled for Success

Mar 16 2017

An Introvert’s Guide to Asking Probing Questions

5 steps to probe with integrityThere are 5 simple steps to draw out more information from the person you are having a conversation with. It might be that you are the introvert and need a hand, or that the person you are speaking with is an introvert and if that is the case, it can be a challenge to have them open up.

The Simple, How When Where why and Who questions are starting to run dry and you want more details.

Follow this process for probing and you will discover all that you need.

Probing Questions

Probing Questions

Probing questions can also help you to investigate in more detail.

Many people are better at presenting their own point of view than they are at drawing out information from others. Your role as a good communicator is to draw out information from the individual that will help you understand the issue. A good name for this skill of gathering information from others is probing.

When you probe, you:

  • Get others involved and participating. Since probes are designed to produce a response, it’s unlikely the other person will remain passive.
  • Get important information on the table. People may not volunteer information, or the information they present may not be clear. Your probes help people open up and present or clarify their information.
  • Force yourself to listen. Since probes are most effective in a sequence, you have to listen to a person’s response.
  • Help improve communication on both sides of the table.

Probing Methods

There are five ways to probe, each are described below.

1. Ask an open question

One of the most common ways of probing is to ask an open question, such as:

  • “Can you describe that more clearly?”
  • “Would you give me a specific example of what you mean?”
  • “What do you think we should do?”

The difficulty here is that if you ask too many of these probing questions, the other person begins to feel like they are being interrogated. Be thoughtful about what and how you ask. Consider how many probes you really need to offer.

2. Pause

A second, very effective way of probing is a pause. Stop talking. Let the other person fill the silence.

3. Ask a reflective or mirroring question

A third way is to ask a reflective or mirroring question. For example, let’s say the person has just said, “What I really want is more variety in my work.” You may respond by just reflecting back to them, “Variety?” The reflective question usually provides you with an expanded answer without you needing to ask more questions. Of course, it is best used in conjunction with a pause.

Reflective questions or statements focus on clarifying and summarising without interrupting the flow of the conversation. They indicate your intent to understand the sender’s thoughts and feelings.

4. Paraphrase

A fourth method that is particularly useful to make certain you understand what has just been said is paraphrasing in your own words.  An example: “So if I understand you correctly, you…”

You can use this response to show that you want to increase the accuracy of your understanding of what has just been said. You may also want to use it to ensure the sender hears what he has just said. Finally, paraphrasing reassures the sender that you are trying to understand what they are saying.

5. Ask a summary question

The fifth method, most often used as a conversation is winding down, is the summary question. Example: “You have tried ignoring the scent of your colleague’s cologne, you have talked with him about how it affects your allergies, and you have tried shutting your door to keep the scent from your workspace. None of these has worked and now you are asking me to intervene. Have I got it right?”

Now you should find all communication clear, easy and fulfilling. Do let me know if this or any of my other communication posts have helped you at all.

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Business, Etiquette, Interviews · Tagged: communication, etiquette, introvert, probing, questions

Feb 16 2017

What your arms say about you

body language hands

Your arms say volumes about what is on your mind.

Speaking with your Hands

Do you talk with your hands? If you are nervous, do you talk with your hands more than usual? Talking with our hands can help to emphasise what we say, although being too expressive can actually distract the listener, who begins to look at your hands instead of listening to your message. In some regions, including Asia and Britain, hand gestures are not that common. In other places, such as Italy, Spain, Portugal, Russia, and countries where those people have immigrated, hand gestures are a part of the conversation.

If you tend to over-talk with your hands, you need to know that some listeners will see you as too demonstrative and perhaps even aggressive. If you are nervous, your hands may be busier than usual, so you’ll need to remember to rein yourself in.

Arm and hand gestures can be used to help you to emphasise an occasional point or to express yourself. For the listener, there are some gestures that make you seem more trustworthy than others. In his work as a communication expert, Chris Bowden refers to something called the “truth plane” as an ideal place to have your hands and to express yourself with honesty. The truth plane is the area around the middle of your abdomen, above your navel. If you keep your hands in front of that area, you appear more trustworthy. It allows you to keep your elbows close to the side of your body and to use your hands to gesture in front of you.

If you use your hands in a symmetric pattern, it is a more trustworthy signal than having your hands do different things. If your hands are too high and obscure your face or throat, that could signal that you are not being honest. If your hands move too far from your body, it could be a signal that you are getting desperate to make your case or close the sale.

If your hands are clasped in front in a downward manner, in front of your genitals, this can signal that you are feeling vulnerable or have something to hide (as if you are protecting yourself).

Keep your hands in front of your abdomen for the best results, using them to emphasise without saying too much. You can fold your hands together in that position or put fingertips from one hand against the other to express yourself. This is known as steepling and is highly trusted. Just be conscious if they start moving too much and distract from the conversation.

Tip

In our aim to be friendly, we can really mess things up. You have probably seen people use their fingers in a V to signal “peace.” Many people use this gesture very casually nowadays, almost as a replacement for hello or goodbye. However, you must be careful in how you present the gesture. Your first and second fingers should form a V, with the hand held up so that your palm faces the other person. If you turn your palm toward yourself (particularly if you are in the United Kingdom), you are making a very vulgar gesture, the equivalent to North America’s flashing of the middle finger.

When you consider that our arms and hands can speak for us in sign language. It is very important to be aware of the messages and signals that we are giving at all times.

Crossed arms can mean chilly weather or disinterested.

Clenched fists can be a sign of anger or fear.

Hugging yourself is something we do to calm ourselves in nervous situations. men are known to touch their cuffs and cufflinks when settling themselves down.

Touching another person can be a very tricky situations. Especially if you need to get someones attention and do not want to be accused of harassment. therefore the safest place to touch another person is between the elbow and the shoulder. It is a safe zone and if, you really want someone to do something for you, or you want to sway someone to your way of thinking. Then this is the ideal place to touch them.

Touching a persons hand or arm has been proven to improve tips for waiting staff as long as it is for no longer than 3 seconds. otherwise you appear plain creepy.

If you find you are insecure and find yourself at a loss as to what to do with your hands always keep a pen of a cup of coffee handy. Holding a pen, can make you appear more knowledgeable and more connected with the conversation you are having.

Finally, when in a negotiation, offer the other party a drink. You can tell how comfortable they are by where they place their cup. Cups placed down across their body is another subliminal sign of discomfort. Cups placed down in front of the body or out from the body shows comfort and trust.

When you consider how many sayings refer to our hands, arms and fingers you can tell we relate to and read into much of what they do.

I found this great compilation by Mark Nichol

Many idioms referring to human behavior are based on analogies to parts of the body, especially arms, hands, and fingers. Here are explanations of many of the most common expressions.

1. “All hands on deck,” from nautical terminology, means that a circumstance requires everyone’s attendance or attention.
2. One who is all thumbs is clumsy (as if one had thumbs in place of fingers and is therefore not dexterous).
3. To have something at hand is to have it accessible or nearby.
4. To be hand in hand is to be in close association.
5. A backhanded compliment is one that explicitly or implicitly denigrates the recipient.
6. To be in good (or safe) hands is to be in a secure position.
7. To be on hand is to be in attendance or available in case of need.
8. To bite the hand that feeds you is to attack or reject someone who has helped you.
9. “The devil makes work for idle hands” means that those who do not have enough to occupy them are susceptible to risking illicit behavior.
10. To say that someone did not or would not lift a finger is to criticize the person for failing to assist.
11. “Elbow grease” refers to influence that will enable something to occur that would otherwise be hindered or stalled.
12. Elbow room is space to be free to live the way one wants to or engage in activities as one wishes.
13. To finger someone is to identify someone, especially a perpetrator of a crime or someone who is to blame for doing something wrong.
14. To experience something at first hand (or firsthand) is to experience it directly rather than to merely become aware of it through an intermediary.
15. To force someone’s hand is to maneuver so that someone is compelled to act prematurely or reveal his or her intentions.
16. To give someone a free hand is to allow that person autonomy.
17. “Five-finger discount” is a euphemism for stealing, especially shoplifting.
18. To gain the upper hand is to become dominant or victorious.
19. To get one’s fingers burned is to experience a painful lesson, often about issues such as trust in interpersonal relationships.
20. To get one’s hands dirty it to directly engage in an activity that may not be appealing, rather than leave it to others, or to become involved in illicit activity.
21–22. To give one’s right arm (to right-handed people, the more useful one) or an arm and a leg is to offer a significant sacrifice to obtain a desired result.
23. To go hand in glove means to be in close agreement or in a close relationship.
24. To hand it to someone is to acknowledge someone’s accomplishment.
25. To hand something to someone on a plate or a platter means to make something easy for someone.
26. To hang on by one’s fingernails is to barely manage to cope with something.
27. To have a finger in every pie (or many pies) is to be involved in many activities or projects
28. To have one’s finger on the pulse of something is to be acutely aware of its condition or status.
29. To have one’s hands full it to be busy or too busy to take on other activities.
30. Something done with a heavy hand is done excessively and/or oppressively.
31. A reference to an iron fist (or iron hand) in a velvet glove is to authoritarian behavior concealed behind a facade of benevolence.
32. To keep someone at arm’s length is to maintain emotional and/or physical distance from someone who is a bad influence or may otherwise cause harm.
33. To keep one’s fingers crossed is to wish for good luck.
34. To know something like the back of one’s hand is to be intimately or thoroughly familiar with it.
35. When the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing, one entity associated with another is unaware of the second entity’s actions or intentions.
36. To lend a hand means to help.
37. To live from hand to mouth is to live on a subsistence level, with no cushion of comfort.
38. When something gets out of hand, it is out of control.
39. The long arm of the law is the influence of law enforcement, which can be more far reaching in time or space than one expects.
40. “On the other hand” means “alternatively.”
41. To overplay one’s hand is to be overconfident.
42. To play into someone’s hands is to engage in activity or behavior that makes one vulnerable to another person’s manipulation.
43. A show of hands is a literal or figurative assessment or vote to determine support for or opposition to an intended course of action or agreement or disagreement with an opinion.
44. To stick out like a sore thumb is to be conspicuous.
45. To take the law into one’s own hands is to seek justice or retribution instead of obtaining assistance through law enforcement or legal procedures.
46. “Thumbs up” refers to the gesture of approval.
47. To be under someone’s thumb is to be subject to someone else’s influence.
48. To be up in arms is to be indignant or agitated about a wrong done to oneself and/or others.
49. To wash one’s hands of something is to decide that one no longer wants to be considered responsible for an action or policy that one does not have control over.
50. To work one’s fingers to the bone is suggest that one’s fingers have been stripped of flesh from the exertion.

Here is a link to the original article

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Business, Etiquette · Tagged: arms, Body Language, communication, fingers, hands

Feb 11 2017

Facial Expressions – what are you really saying

What's your face sayingYour face is like a palette, but instead of being speckled with brightly coloured paints, it is a tapestry of signs and signals. Our mouths have a lot to say, even when they are closed. Smiles can range from lips pressed together and corners barely turned, to the open-mouthed, uninhibited laughter of children playing.

Downward turns of the mouth are often perceived as negative, while upward turns are seen as positive. Some people however, don’t move their mouths much. In a sales meeting, it’s not unusual for the prospect to try to hide their feelings about your product, meaning you have to work harder in order to see what they are not saying.

Look at their lips. Are they relaxed and soft, or tense and anxious? Are they pursed as though the person is thinking, or are they holding back an objection?

What about the client’s head? If it is straight up and down and their eyes are focused, it may seem like they are listening. However, when someone is really focusing on listening, they will often tilt their head slightly to one side, almost as if they are trying to help the sound get into their ear more efficiently. You can also tilt your head slightly to indicate you are listening to them and to mirror their behaviour (more on that later).

People often make unintentional gestures, even when they think they are keeping a poker face. In many years of studying human behaviour and deceit, Dr. Paul Ekman and his contemporaries have isolated many small, involuntary expressions (called micro expressions) that can help spot a lie. (These include very small muscular changes.) While they can denote deceit, they can also be the result of nervousness, so they have to be interpreted very carefully.

Some of the facial gestures include:

  • Rubbing the eye (a sign that the individual wants you to ignore the deceit they are presenting, or an itchy eye)
  • Rolling the eyes (a dismissive or superior gesture)
  • Looking over the top of the glasses (critical)
  • Rubbing or touching the nose (don’t like the subject)
  • Hand or fingers in front or to one side of the mouth (can mean they are holding back something – a thought, an opinion, or even a lie)
  • Stroking the chin (making a decision)
  • Thumb under the chin with index finger pointing up the side of the face (critical judgment and/or negative opinion)

By understanding your client’s signals, you can adjust your presentation, provide more information, or simply learn when to stop talking. This way you can redirect your energy to relationship development and building trust, rather than coming across as pushy or overbearing.

Tips to Try

Identify your most frequently used gestures. Do you do anything that could be perceived as negative or intimidating to your prospects? Eliminate these gestures from your approach and see what happens to your results! 

Facial expressions that demonstrate happiness, sadness, fear, surprise, disgust, and anger, seem to be consistent around the world. When we see those expressions, we know what we are seeing. There are some differences, however, when it comes to how often happiness is displayed. It doesn’t mean that the smile is different from one region to another, but it means that some communities express happiness more often than others.

Smiling is a great sales tool because it is easy to produce, although people who are skilled in reading body language can read a false smile quite easily. The false smile is characterised by the following:

  • They are usually held much longer than authentic smiles.
  • They may appear put together, in that the elements of the smile are added to the face separately, rather than being a natural result of the mouth curving.
  • They tend to be confined to the lower half of the face, rather than including the muscles at the corners of the mouth and around the eyes.
  • They may not be symmetrical. The neural pathways in a genuine smile create a symmetrical result, but a lopsided smile is produced by the face receiving mixed instructions as someone tries to hide their real feelings. Voluntary messages are telling the face to behave one way, which the individual is trying to mask their true feelings and suppress the genuine emotion. Oddly, people tend to react to the lopsided smile as though it is a genuine smile, perhaps because we are more concerned that people smile at us than we are about the motivation behind it.

The Eyes Have It

The eyes are often referred to as the most expressive part of our face. We often talk about people who smile just with their mouths as less attractive than someone whose smile extends up into their eyes. It is the telltale nature of our eyes that leads some poker players to wear dark glasses. It is also a good reason for sales people not to wear sunglasses!

Eyes will react to a variety of stimuli and some of these reactions are involuntary. If you ever wondered how, as a youth, your parents caught you in a lie, it might have had to do with the size of your pupils, which can dilate during a lie. (Of course, there are plenty of other reasons for your pupils to dilate, including an adrenaline event.)

Even a slight squint can impact what the listener sees on your face. Are you lying? Or do you need glasses?

As a frame to our eyes, eyebrows are also very expressive. Eyebrow expressions mean different things in different places, however. You might be used to both eyebrows going up when someone reacts with surprise. However, the Inuit in Northern Canada use the same movement to indicate “yes.” (They do not nod up and down as we frequently see in Australia, Europe & North America and other areas.)

In fact, the idea of nodding to say yes is NOT universal. In some countries, like Thailand, Laos, and the Philippines, the non-verbal signal for “yes” is tossing the head backward. In Greece, nodding your head up and down means “no” (as it does in several regions in the Middle East). Make sure you know your client’s customs and check with a travel guide to get things right.

If you or your staff would like help with presenting the perfect image at work. Contact us to see how we can help you.

Do our business etiquette quiz to see how well you know your stuff.

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Business, Etiquette, Men, Women · Tagged: Body Language, business tips, cultural differences, face expressions, gestures

Dec 06 2016

Stain Removal, nice and simple home solutions

With so many parties coming up it is always handy to have a simple chart on hand to treat any unexpected stains that you might end up with on your clothes.

I realised as I wrote this that it does reference a couple of brands, that might be Australian only. I am sure you can find local products that are quite similar.
Stain Removal Guide

I would highly recommend printing out this chart and popping it up in your laundry cupboard, or keeping a copy on your phone, so you know what to do, really quickly, should you be caught out and find yourself covered in red wine, ink or coffee. Just to name a few.

There is a stain-removal-guide which you can download. To see everything which is covered, I invite you to read on.

Home remedy stain removal guide

  • Beer – paint a paste of an oxygen based prewash stain remover such as Napisan™ Oxygen on the stain, leave 15 minutes then wash
  • Beetroot – put a blob of glycerine on the stain before washing
  • Blood – wash fresh stains in cold water ASAP.  If it’s set, use cornflour and water, for older stains try soap and cold water
  • Chewing Gum – put the garment in the freezer or harden with ice, scrape as much off with a blade then soak in prewash or baking soda, and sprinkle talcum powder on the gum to absorb it and work at it rubbing in circles
  • Chocolate – soap and cold water followed by soap and hot water
  • Coffee/Tea – Work glycerine into the stain then wash as normal. If it still doesn’t come out try soak in prewash or baking soda followed by normal wash
  • Deodorant – soak in prewash or baking soda, rolled up pantyhose
  • Egg Yolk – cold water and soap, then wash in the machine on a warm wash
  • Fruit Juice – normal wash and hang in the sun to dry.  For Apple and Stone fruits try glycerine on the stain before washing
  • Grass – soak in prewash or baking soda
  • Grease – dishwashing liquid on the stain before washing in a warm wash
  • Hair dye – dry-cleaning fluid or kerosene, or hairspray
  • Ink – rotten milk (Really – who has this?)
  • Lipstick – soak in prewash or baking soda, or Sards™ Wonder Soap
  • Nail polish – acetone then wash normally
  • Paint – Water based paints use methylated spirits, Oil based paints use turpentine.
  • Rust – CLR (more likely found in the garage than the laundry) or lemon juice and salt
  • Permanent Marker – Hand sanitiser
  • Sap – soak in prewash or baking soda
  • Shoe polish – Methylated spirits then wash normally
  • Soft drinks – treat as fruit juice
  • Sweat – Napisan™ Oxygen paste, leave on stain 15 minutes, or try Sards™ Wonder soap
  • Tar – baby oil or kerosene
  • Wax – freeze item, scrape off as much as possible, then soak in prewash or baking soda (see gum).
  • Wine – Fresh red wine – vinegar, Old red wine – glycerine, bicarb and detergent, White wine – vinegar

Have a very Merry Xmas, a Happy Hannukah and very festive holiday time.

I hope you don’t need to use these little hints, but if you do that they get you out of a sticky mess.

Written by Clare Maxfield · Categorized: Etiquette, Men, Style, Women · Tagged: clean, Lipstick, stain removal, Wine

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